When will the weather be fine??

Tuesday, October 17, 2006 Steve Jobs 去年六月，蘋果電腦的Steve Jobs到Stanford出席畢業典禮並發表演講。 他說了有關他生命的三個故事──「No big deal. Just three stories.」 第一個故事，叫connecting dots. 在大學唸了半年書後，他決定輟學，因為學費太貴，而他也著實看不到那些必修課有什麼價值。 接下來他以旁聽生的身份，在大學裏泡了十八個月，期間他學了不少英文書法。 當時完全不知道學來幹什麼。 直到十年後，他和朋友發明蘋果電腦時，靈機一觸，決定把這些美麗的書法用到電腦裏去，成為我們今天用的Arial，Times New Roman, MS Sans Serif等等。 Steve Jobs說，由於Windows不過在抄Mac，所以如果當年他沒有輟學的話，我們今天就不會在電腦上看見這些秀麗的字體。 有些事，你今天看不到它的意義，但「you have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.」 唯有若干日子後往回看（connecting the dots backward），才看出一切彷彿早有前因。 第二個故事，講他被蘋果攆走。 蘋果電腦由他和朋友在父母的車房裏發明，後來成了獨當一面的企業。 他們請了不少人才回來作管理。但他怎也想不到，公司的董事局其後一致決定要攆走他。 How can you get fired from a company you started? 他當然心有不甘，但想到他仍然深愛他在蘋果所做的一切，他開始抖擻精神，先後成立了NeXT和Pixar兩間公司。 後來蘋果電腦買下了NeXT，...

I have been returned to Hong Kong exactly 32 days. I have visited 3 agents. No formal job interview called. Now I am being a Form 3 Student Tutor as a living. ( only cover a little part of living in fact.) My free time is not very "free" because I am not having much money to spent. Hence, I mainly reading books. I want to learn Linux. It's a bit trouble because I am now self-teaching. Patient. I should have the patient. Looking back my life in UK, It is very meaningful because I have a very clear goal. And this is having a Distinction. Almost, everyday, I work for this goal. Truly and wholeheartly, I should pointing my goal. It makes my life meaningful. Comparing my life now, It is vague, loosely-packed, floating. I don't want to have such a life even for a single day.... ( I have to blame myself speaking more than acting.) I should able to forsee the situation now. I don't suprise what is happening now. Honestly, I create the situation myself, short term reason...

I had return to Hong Kong for 2 weeks. Nothing Major has changed in Hong Kong. Economics seems average. Life in HK looks the same. Within these 2 weeks, I am not working very hard for job hunting. And I am not playing very hard either. Where is my passion? I seems need to pick up my passion again. Today, I went to the library and study. It's now not the same as in UK. UK is a very good place for me to study. I have a single room. I have no TV to watch. I don't have to worry about people may disturb me. I should practise TKD again and having more work out. My stomach is full, very full.

I send my dissertation to the copy shop for soft binding this afternoon 13:45 pm......16.4 GBP. tomorrow 9:00 pm collect. I plan to submit it on tomorrow. Well, I tell Barclays not to go London for another , last meeting. It's too rush for me. Well, wish Peter don't mind about this. Sitting now in front of the computer. I am relaxing a bit. Suddenly, this is quite refresh, i feel little bit seems I am just arrived. Or frankly, I am blank in my mind. I am sure when I was arrived here last year, my mind is full of plan and expectation. Now, my task is done. May be this is why my mind is blank. I am smiling a bit. You may understand why. Don't wanna write too much because I don't want to be too sensational. A smile is enough. By the way, A king's fig boy suicided a few days ago. Silly boy, It's not a responsible at all. Now, your full stop is marked sadly by your parents' tears. And I don't think King's give any pressure to students. Silly boy....... ...

It's now the dawn of Tuesday. 5/9/2006. I am leaving this sunday, 10/9/2006. God, is that your arrangement to send me here and send me back Hong Kong? No matter what is your plan, I will do my part best and drill my self and get through future hurdles in my life. From this year, I learn mathematics application in finance. And I open my eye to learn what is academic. It is not easy to work in academic. I think writing a paper is much more difficult than answering a question, or writing an assignment. This is because we need to define our scope well and define our problems well for a paper. But, an assignment, the question is well well well defined and we are request to write the solution. They are different. anyway, I am going back to a familar place. but, is my coming future familar? Looking forward to seeing it!

A 5 day gliding camp was held in Leicestershire. I am now sitting exhaustedly in front of my computer and writing down my experience. Firstly, I fly again. Although I am not in a Grob and in Aldaide, I fly. Flying a glider is similar to flying a 747, my instructor said. True. The Altiude, the turn, the trim, the circuit, the take off, the cockpit, the rudder, etc. All are similar. Flying is flying. Secondly, I spend a week with Brition. All local english, excepting my instructor who is a Brition but working for Dragon air. May be the god know how I feel and the god wish to give me some compensation to me. He arrange me fly with Rory. And the curry dinner, he almost think I am his collegue and keep talking how a chinese and chinese culture not working well. But, he is absolutely admire my flying. He give me a appaluse in one of the manovuere. God, am I too greedy to think that why this kind of maturity didn't come to me6 years earlier? Never mind, I trust you God. You are my inst...

2 years ago, I was gambling on HSIF ( mini HSIF actually ). Last week, I bought a book from the Noble Price winner R.C. Merton - Continue Time Finance. Frankly, I am very willing to buy it. Although what in my mind is still only want to take a look on the book of a famous prize winner, I am very willing to paid the 35 quids. Once I open the book, I become humble. How can a person can achieve such completeness of a field? After reading the first chapter, I totally agree his ideology on how should the modern finance develop. Very challenging! Even more challenging than flying a Boeing!!! His book is something not easy to understand. May be my english level is still low, but everyone should agree his contribution toward modern finance and his thorough idea about arangement of chapters. From agent's choice, discrete time cases, transit to continue time. Once the agent's choice about portfolio and comsuptions developed, the focus then on the option pricing ( again from discrete towa...

08 May, 2006. 1:00am. I am listening BBC Midland, news at one o'clock. Flourscent light is yellow. smell of grass and the night breeze enter my room reminding me this is the summertime in UK. Only myself remind myself I am living in the year 2006. It's important to remind myself I am in 2006. Religon is something far and close to me. Frankly, I pray somethings. Usually talk to lord when I want to. But, I am not a christian nor catholic, not any religon at all. However, I truely believe in Lord. I watched a documentary about Plastic Surgeory. I saw how doctor do the cracy but smart things to human....use a 1 meter long stainless stell tube to remove fatty issue, use a plastic bag to enlarge the breast, remove some skins at the head, reshape the bone of toes, remove nerve from pennis.....My only comment is how amazing the power of Lord, it is definitely the power of lord to recover human body. Docotor is only doing the jobs under the conscent of Lord. life is what the lord gi...

I watch the snooker championship 2006 today. the game lasted for 12:00 hours. I had watched from 4:00pm-1:00am. This is the first time I watch TV so long in UK. It means I am really taking a break. Exam is done. Half of the work is done. Frankly, I think the MSC is just a beginning only. If I want to go further in Finance, I need to work hard for the rest of my life. And no able to hang around at any stage too long. Let me pick up again my determinations, my hardworking, my discipline piece by piece. And reshape myself and move to the next stage. Well, i want to look at more detail about the equity market and what a i-bank does at the moment. Next, look at my dissertation and then prepare it well. I still have the chance to get a distinction!

I have been Paris for 4 days at the beginning of This term break. But, when I come back, I like a flatten ballon. No a little drop of engery to study. I didn't work much this week, too. It's a nightmare! Is it because I am originally a lazy bone? Once I get used to the environment, I loss the momentum immediately. Is it because I am too stressed such that once I have a holiday, I cannot back to mental state for studying? Is it because I found out the tution fee for PhD is too high, I lose a "target"? Who can tell me why? Who can help me out? In the middle of my MSc, I really lose a momentum. Wind up, Wind up, quick. Whatever the reason, one thing is clear! That's the time is keep rolling. No matter whatever reason, my time for study is fixed. When the holiday is finished, I have to take the exam. That's the rule, that's the truth. Even I have 1000 strong reason for not to study, I have no second chance. I cannot foresee that lossing momentum is one of the ...

Welll, well, well, the result is announced. Today. I walk in a fast pace to the programme office to take it during the break of Stochastic Method II this afternoon..... Assest Pricing : 73 Econ & Stat. : 66 Ok?! the bottom line for applying Phd is 65. The min. average for Distinction is 70. I talked with 2 people. All of them is got the result around 70-75. I heard that a superman got 90 in Econ. & stat. Also, I guess our class average is 65-70. This mark is, in fact, to my upper estimation. (My calculation is : 0.8 X "sure answer" + 0.3X"unsure answer" :P ) . I am not doing well in the last exam......in A.P. I even make a mistake on my calculator's function of S.D. & Variance such that I forgot to sqrt my answer.... Econ & Stat....i cannot do the basic good-of-fittness test, 1 homework exercise, and 1 exactly the same model pass paper question........ :( So, I should happy to get this mark. Show some improvement! The material this term ...

St. Petersburg Paradox is gone. My exam was a mess. I think I should able to improve simply by drilling a little bit of the exam answering technique. And there are a few algebra I should do it more properly. Anyway, It's over and let's wait for the results. ( I expect the result will around 60-70. Althought I really wish it above 70). I thought a bit about situation. I made remedial action as follows: - quit smoking ( Although I am not heavy smoker ) - play a bit more ( it should help to boost the higher efficient ) In this term, I will focous on the home work & past paper. I think I am too greedy in term 1. And I allowed myself to put something unclear until the holiday( it took me more than 1 week to revisie the lecture notes for only 1 time but not doing much exercises) because I thought I can handle it & self-study it well. I thought a lot of planning in term 1, too. Also, I thought I could learn the subjects in a boarder mean, i.e. out of sllyabus. My efficiency do...